


Burn This Hideous Thing

by aeriamamaduck



Series: Dragon Age II [13]
Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Blue-Purple Hawke, Circle Mage Bethany Hawke, Mark of the Assassin DLC, my boy looks awful in that get up, rogue hawke - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-21 17:54:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9560363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aeriamamaduck/pseuds/aeriamamaduck
Summary: Garrett hates the outfit he's been given to wear.





	

Fenris pinched the bridge of his nose, waiting for Garrett to step out of the guest suite. Hopefully he wouldn’t still smell of wyvern dung and all the other unpleasantness of the hunt. He didn’t imagine _that_ would go over well at an Orlesian banquet, and the fact that Garrett was Fereldan didn’t seem to be smoothing things over with the other guests.

Tallis was off changing in private. Neither Fenris nor Bethany trusted her, but Garrett assured them the situation was under control. It didn’t help that Fenris hated such gatherings, where he could just feel the oily simpering crawl into his skin. He would be relieved when they could finally part from the strange elf and return to their normal lives in Kirkwall with Lia, away from wyverns and Orlesians.

Bethany remarked with a nervous bite of her lip, “It’s getting late. I can already hear people in the garden.” She rapped her knuckles sharply on the door and called, “Garrett, you have to come out eventually!”

There was a short silence before Garrett answered in clipped tones. “Don’t want to. Second thoughts.”

Exchanging a rolling of eyes with Fenris, Bethany encouraged, “Come on out! We won’t laugh!”

“You’re not seeing what I’m seeing!”

Fenris huffed in irritation. First Garrett wanted to play noble and now he wanted to back out of it? No, it simply would not do. He knocked on the door with his gauntleted fist and growled, “Hawke, you got us into this mess, so you’re seeing us out of it!”

Another pause and then Garrett repeated just as grimly, “You’re not seeing what I’m seeing!”

Fenris and Bethany groaned in unison, the former wondering _why_ he had to fall in love with the vainest man in Thedas. Well…vain, wasn’t precisely the right word. Garrett was proud of his appearance, and knew his own appeal, but he was not the type to gaze at himself narcissistically upon every reflective surface.

Bethany attempted once more in a coaxing voice, “How bad could it possibly be? Come out already or Fenris will have to make a mess of this lovely door.”

Moments passed and Fenris was beginning to think he was going to have to, in fact, make a mess of the lovely door, until it opened and Garrett stepped out looking like a man headed for his execution.

Fenris took one look at the outfit and understood Garrett’s hesitation.

It was… _Orlesian_. The vest was a deep purple with spiraling designs embroidered in a pale blue. The undershirt was an even paler blue, the neck high enough to touch Garrett’s earlobes and the sleeves tremendously puffy. The silk trousers were a plum color, and looked a little _too_ tight for comfort. In short; the outfit was extremely unflattering.

Fenris bit the inside of his cheek to keep his chuckle from escaping. Garrett looked absolutely devastated by this turn of events, and laughing would only make him feel worse. Bethany was snorting into her hand, needing to turn away from Garrett.

He closed his eyes in agony. “I look _ridiculous_.”

Recovering herself, Bethany cleared her throat and said brightly, “Maybe it’s just not a good color for you!”

A small whimper escaping him, Garrett spun on his heel and made to retreat into the room, but not before Fenris caught him by the waist. “No you _don’t,_ Garrett. You are going down there, you are going to mingle, and you’re going to _like it_.”

Garrett stopped struggling and sighed heavily. “You just want to see me suffer as punishment for dragging you here.”

“That, and you should follow things through.”

“Besides,” Bethany chimed in. “If you go out there in your champion regalia, a good portion of the guests will pass out from fear and the party will be ruined. Who knows when you’ll ever get invited to such an event again?”

“Never, if I have anything to say about it,” Fenris muttered.

Garrett made a small whining noise at the back of his throat before his shoulders sagged in surrender. “Fine, you merciless sadists. I’ll go out there and make a fool of myself in the most ridiculous ensemble in all of Thedas. Maker, I hope Lia never hears of this. At least there’ll be booze.”

Bethany giggled as she led the way out. “What a fine image that’ll make! The Drunken Marshmallow-Armed Champion of Kirkwall Offends the Host and Proceeds to Eat All the Cheese In the Empire!”

“Marshmallow?!”

Fenris prodded the space between the man’s shoulder blades. “ _Walk_.”

**Author's Note:**

> Why yes, this was a reference to Boy Meets World.


End file.
